Ask Amy: Text messages interfere with couple’s trust

Dear Amy: My husband has girls from work that message him. Sometimes these are work-related, and sometimes not.

When I stress that I don’t like it, he says it’s nothing I should be concerned about. He also says it’s unattractive for me to act this way, that they are his friends, and I need to get over it.

I do not give other men my phone number.

I know that he is flirtatious (whether he realizes it or not). Girls fawn over him because he’s such an attractive and nice guy.

If the situation was reversed and I was receiving messages from men, he would hate it. He’s comfortable with this double standard.

I’m at my wits’ end because he just doesn’t get it.

We’ve had infidelity issues in the past (on both sides), and I don’t trust his or others’ intentions.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

— Upset

Dear Upset: You aren’t “wrong” for feeling the way you feel. Your feelings are your feelings, and you get to have them.

However, because you and your husband have a history of infidelity and a lack of trust (certainly on your part), you haven’t “normalized” friendships, work relationships, and communication between people.

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Source:: The Denver Post

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