Some victims stayed friends with Harvey Weinstein. I did the same with my rapist. Here’s why.

Rapists who are powerful in their field use favors and guilt to silence victims.

“That’s it. That’s what they’ll bury her for,” was the first thing I thought.

I was reading Ronan Farrow’s excellent New Yorker article on Harvey Weinstein’s alleged history of rape and sexual harassment, when I got to Weinstein’s alleged rape of actress Asia Argento. Argento claims that Weinstein performed oral sex on her, against her will, in a hotel room.

Argento goes on to say that she grew close to Weinstein after he assaulted her — accepting gifts, meeting his mother, and having consensual sex with him.

A familiar sick feeling washed over me. I could understand how Argento could allow the same man who she says forced himself on her to continue to be part of her life. I also knew — just as she did — exactly how this sequence of events would affect her credibility, in the public’s eye, if she came forward about the assault.

“He made it sound like he was my friend and he really appreciated me,” Argento tells Farrow about the relationship she and Weinstein formed after the alleged rape. I shuddered in recognition.

Once upon a time, my rapist, another well-connected and accomplished man, did the same to me. Not only did he encourage me to pretend as though nothing bad had happened between us, but he also made it abundantly clear that he would trade on his privilege to encourage me to stay silent.

“A real rape victim wouldn’t do that”

Among the basic tenets of rape culture is the typecasting of the rapist as an aberrant monster and an outlier. Rape culture does not allow for the possibility that a rapist can be a regular guy with a family, your neighbor or colleague, a trusted friend, or the cute …read more

Source:: Vox – All

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