Einstein Bros.’s Espresso Buzz Bagel isn’t the caffeine jolt you’re looking for

By Tim Carman, The Washington Post

Perfect for the busy professional who wants coffee and a bagel on the drive to work, without the usual worry of drink drippage, Einstein Bros. has introduced the Espresso Buzz Bagel. It’s a soft, brooding round, as dark as pumpernickel, that contains 32 milligrams of caffeine.

You’ll need to eat about five of these bloated rounds to equal the caffeine content of a single two-ounce pull of Starbucks’ espresso. Good luck with that, and don’t forget what cookbook author Michael Ruhlman recently wrote for The Washington Post: Refined grains can be as hard on your body as sugar.

I’m trying to imagine the meeting between Einstein Bros. test-kitchen chefs and the executives who ultimately greenlighted the Espresso Buzz Bagel:

Chef: We’ve developed a bagel that will make your morning coffee obsolete!

Executive: I like coffee.

Chef: Of course. We all like coffee. But who has time for it anymore? Plus, when you’re driving, how many times have you spilled coffee on your freshly laundered white shirt?

Executive: I never drink coffee and drive.

Chef, getting nervous: That’s smart. Really smart. But America is not as disciplined as you, and they’re lazy. They can’t drive to the grocery store without checking their Facebook app 10 times and uploading two photos to Instagram while sucking down a grande coffee from Starbucks. This bagel will help American consumers save millions on dry-cleaning bills.

Executive: Sold.

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Source:: The Denver Post

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